In one way or another I’ve been trying to change the world through activism, the arts and the not-for-profit sector ever since I can remember. When I eventually faced my disillusion, disappointment and found myself close to burnout, a dear friend had the sense to ask me ‘so if you could do anything in the world for a job, what would it be?'
Well, I have experienced long periods of sexual dysfunction, poor and sometimes destructive relationships, and feeling a sense of unease in my body and in the world and yet I still had a burning curiosity for all things sexual and relational. So my reply was pretty clear: ‘I want to be some kind of sex therapist’.
There followed an intense period of research, retraining and taking the necessary time and space to heal some of my own deeply held relationship and sexual wounds. And through this I started to become the person I never dreamed could be possible.
And now, here I am, continuing to grow and working with people; offering services that help men, in their bodies, to discover and expand their own sense of sexual pleasure, joy, aliveness and freedom and to deepen the connection with themselves, with others and with the world.
For most of us family, social, and cultural circumstances as well as gender identities and expectations often deter and prevent us from exploring our innocent and blossoming sexuality as we are growing up. This can lead to problems in adulthood and an enduring sense of dissatisfaction which can leak into and influence other areas of our lives. My own experience and journey of healing has brought to me a liberation which I believe is possible for everyone who is willing to take a proactive and trusting step towards discovering their essential and sensual selves. I’m a passionate believer that every-body has the right to safely explore and express their sexuality and that for most people, this expression can be a source of joy, freedom, love and empowerment. I work with men as this is my area of expertise and my natural calling.
Relevant training and experience is listed below, however the experiences gained on the journey with friends, supporters, mentors, teachers, lovers, peers and through my work with clients has been absolutely priceless in helping to shape me into being the best ‘some kind of sex therapist’ I can possibly be. I am honoured and privileged to be on the journey with you, doing this work and to be helping to change the world; one body, one heart and one soul at a time.
Ethos and Practice
I live and work from a sex positive perspective, embracing and integrating my shadow, respecting my own choices and the choices of others and doing what I can to promote healthier attitudes, perspectives, beliefs and behaviours around all aspects of sex and sexuality.
My fundamental values are non-judgement, compassion, integrity, honesty, professionalism, consent, autonomy, respect, curiosity, generosity, openness, trust, fun, sensuality, learning and pleasure.
I am passionate about offering a place where you can find your own safety, where you can drop into your experience without any expectations or the need to please or perform, a time where you can move out of your head and into your body. You are always encouraged to experience, notice and communicate whatever is going on in your body at any given time. I will support you to recognise and communicate where your ‘edges’ are and in your choice of how far towards those edges you wish to explore. You will never be expected or invited to go beyond your edges, yet I can support you and hold space for you in a session if you find yourself there.
Relevant Training and Experience
Leora Lightwoman: Levels 1-3 and assisting
Jan Day: Living Tantra Training 18 month programme (LTT8) and assisting (LT1 and LTT10)
ISTA - International School of Temple Arts: Level One
Bondassage® Practitioner training
John Hawken: The Paths of Transformation (2 day intro)
Seani Love: The School of Erotic Mysteries: Deep Dive into Tantra, Conscious Kink and the Human Shadow
The Sea School of Embodiment, Dawlish, UK: Sexolgogical Bodywork™
Betty Martin: Wheel of Consent: Like a Pro for practitioners
John Hawken/Pathways Studios: Transformational Tantra Massage Module one
Betty Martin/School of Consent: Wheel of Consent Facilitator Training
To ensure my practice is as informed, ethical, safe and resourced as it can be, I undertake:
Regular peer support activities
Regular professional practitioner supervision
Regular personal therapy
Ongoing continuing professional development (CPD) with recognised, ethical and professional practitioners in related and expanded fields
Membership of professional body ASIS
Fully insured with BGI.uk