Article: Can Bondassage expand your erotic potential?

Bondassage is, as the name suggests a kinky combination of erotic massage with the very best bondage techniques and has been described as the perfect introduction to bondage and submission. 

Working with me, offers you an ideal opportunity to safely explore your desires and discover new erotic sensations in your body. Many of us long for something more in our erotic lives but often suppress our wants as ‘dirty’ or ‘shameful’.  Unfortunately, no matter how hard we try to conceal them, these desires often ‘leak out’ and can unconsciously influence our behaviour. Experiencing Bondassage provides you with the opportunity to safely access and explore your fantasies thereby liberating your desires and being witnessed in your pleasure and discovery.

Whether you are a beginner looking to explore BDSM for the first time or an experienced kinkster looking for a fresh approach, it’s important for you to know that the whole session is conducted with calm, nurturing authority. No marks will be left on your body and all touch given is designed to take you up to but never beyond your own boundaries. 

What to expect in a session

Each session starts with a discussion that clarifies boundaries and edges, wants and desires. Once there is a clear agreement around these, you will be invited to accept the wearing of a collar. From that point on you are under my authority, I become your Mistress, your safe-keeper and the person to lead you into your erotic dream. Cuffs and ankle restraints are applied and you are tied with soft ropes to a massage table. A blindfold and headphones with soft music provides sensory deprivation and heightens the senses in your body. You may feel tingles of doubt and fear of ‘what’s coming next’. This is expected and simply adds to your erotic arousal. The journey continues into touch; first with gentle massage strokes moving to new sensations including spanking, tickling, kneading, pinching and soothing touch again. A range of tools are introduced to explore sensations further including fur, feathers, crops and floggers. These, and more, are part of the repertoire designed to take you to your erotic edge. When it is time, the session is brought to a close with a de-collaring and space to recover before returning to your own autonomy in everyday life.

Why do people want to experience Bondassage®?

Freedom through restraint and surrender is something that piques curiosity in many of us.  Indeed it can be a relief and liberation for us to just let go and surrender into the safekeeping of another. Some people describe feeling a rush of endorphins, a natural high, whereas others experience a deep erotic trance where you are out of your thinking head and into your feeling body.

Deep relaxation, surrender, healing, catharsis, pleasure, transcendent states, connection, discovering new pleasure zones and intense orgasms have all been reported. Whatever your experience is with me, it will likely be full of surprises.  

 “If the best massage of your life, punctuated with delicious sensory play while blindfolded and strapped down to a cushy massage table sounds appealing, you must try Bondassage … It’s a feast of delicious sensations, from deep relaxation to highly skilled touch … the combination of  massage skills, body percussion, submission, sensation play, and sensory deprivation will take you to places you’ve never been before. It’s like nothing I’d ever experienced … Words simply cannot describe it. As powerful as any dream fantasy I’ve ever had.”  S

Are you ready to explore Bondassage®? Contact me today 

Article: Etiquette, Boundaries and Consent

Before booking please consider the following

Etiquette 

  • A free consultation of up to 20 minutes is available for the purpose of assessing whether we can effectively work together before booking an appointment.
  • The number of sessions required (if more than one) will be discussed and estimated as a part of the free initial consultation.
  • I may make referrals to trusted colleagues if I believe your needs will be better met with them.
  • Booking an appointment will always require an upfront non returnable deposit of £50 payable by bank transfer or Paypal. 
  • Please arrive as close to your appointment time as possible for a smooth start and finish. Please contact me if you are running late. I will try to allow the full time if you do arrive late but some sessions may need to end on time.
  • Calls from no ID or international numbers cannot be answered, please contact me by email.

Boundaries and Consent

  • I am passionate about creating a safe place where not only are your boundaries respected but you are actively encouraged to learn more about and empowered to know and exercise your consent and your ‘yes’ and your ‘no’. 
  • I do not touch you for my own pleasure (taking). All touch is given for you in service of your learning and pleasure. All serviced are offered as one-way touch only and as such are entirely focused on you and your experience.
  • With the exception of one 3 minute hand touch learning exercise around consent, there will never be an occasion when you as the client are required or allowed to touch me as your practitioner.
  • Work together may include some foundational work around the Wheel of Consent, a tool developed by Dr Betty Martin aimed at empowering individuals and practitioners in understanding and practicing healthy boundaries and consent. 
  • You, as the client are fully empowered to work within the level of touch with which you are comfortable and I recognise and honour that this may be different session by session and moment by moment.  
  • All Sexological Bodywork and Bondassage® sessions are usually conducted with you as the client unclothed and me as the practitioner clothed. I will always remain clothed in these sessions, however you have full choice around how much clothing you wish to wear and  work will be adapted accordingly.
  • Please speak with me if you would prefer to have a chaperone to attend with you

Are you ready to explore?

Contact me

Article: Some personal thoughts on abundance

I am enough.
I have enough.
I have enough space.
I have enough work. 
I have enough time, skills, intelligence and energy. 
I have enough learning, growth and wisdom. 
I have enough support, love and beautiful people in my life. 
I have enough sleep. 
I have enough food, money and health.
I have enough curiosity, generosity, love and compassion.
I have enough tribe, acceptance, love and belonging.
And I have enough playfulness, humour and joy
Indeed, I have enough for whatever I choose! 
I always have enough to support my choices.
And I have enough gratitude, grace and acceptance to live this, my birthright;
a life of abundance.
And,
I am, 
always, 
always,
always, 
enough.

Article: What is a Certified Sexological Bodyworker?

By Alison Pilling

It might be easier to start with what we’re not. We’re not sex therapists, escorts, tantric masseurs or counsellors and we don’t offer those services as part of Sexological Bodywork. The difference between a ‘CSB’ and any of those is is worth explaining and its about the lack of ‘doing to you’ or ‘fixing you’. We believe you’re not broken, you’re having a natural life experience which can shift with the right support. 

While other professions may offer a specific experience, Sexological Bodywork works with you at your level, to explore what’s going on for you and we start there. The great gift of working with a Sexological Bodyworker is that the session is centred on you, what your needs are at the place you’re at. It’s essentially a place, free from judgement, for you to learn about yourself and connect to your body in safety. 

As the Sexological Bodyworker is always wearing clothes, there’s a clear boundary, which means it’s a time for you to focus on yourself without any of the common anxieties about pleasing or ‘giving’ to someone else. This means you can begin to relax and learn and build trust in yourself and your body. It’s all about you and what you need. A key element is that this is an opportunity to have a learning, educational experience, a teacher/student relationship rather than an entertainment service. 

Sexological Bodyworkers have a range of skills, tools and exercises to adapt to what’s important for you. They’ll ask you about what you want in your life and what are your issues that you want to explore in the greater context of your life. Some reasons why people see a Sexological Bodyworker might include the following, though there could be more

I was abused and want to go beyond that
I’ve lost my erotic desire, 
My partner’s closed down
I don’t feel anything during sex
I’ve got erectile dysfunction
I’m bored in my relationship
I’m feeling addicted to porn
I’ve got a fetish that’s getting in the way
I’m embarrassed about my body
Dating is difficult as I feel pressure to have sex when I don’t want to
I find it hard to talk about sex
I want to feel more confident in the bedroom

Unlike seeing other types of practitioner who ‘do things to you’ or try to fix you, seeing a Sexological Bodyworker gives you the insight, responsibility and power to make the changes you want in your life. If you want your life to be happier with more sexual understanding and confidence, it’s ultimately up to you and Sexological Bodywork can support you to turn around your personal Titanic. With kindness and a model of co-creating sessions with you, they’ll listen to you talk about what’s important for you, and offer options for learning. 

How do they work? 
They work with bringing curiosity rather than 'making something happen’ to you. In the session they’ll often ask you what you’re noticing and feeling in your body. Imagine someone supporting you and not trying to fix you, listening to you and using touch that is non goal oriented and for your benefit only. What that means is that the touch you receive is guided by you, for the purpose of your learning; to see what you’re noticing and feeling. It’s not with the purpose of making anything happen like arousal. It’s such a relief for those who connect anxiety with arousal and can finally relax into safety. It’s about you taking charge of what happens to your body. 

To finally have someone listen to us with unconditional positive regard touches something deep, a feeling of complete acceptance. And from that place we can make changes for ourselves, based on what we see and feel and learn about what we need.

Sexological Bodywork is a pioneering new field with fewer than a thousand practitioners, with a code of ethics and a professional body. We’ve seen amazing things happen with clients when they finally get the attention and support they’ve needed for so long. 

Learning for the first time that you matter and what you want matters is a powerful force for personal change.

ARTICLE: Professional Statement for people I already know

Providing bodywork to people in the conscious sexuality, kink, LGBTQI and tantra communities, when I am involved as I am, raises questions about professional boundaries. In these comparatively small communities it may not be possible to uphold the strict separation between professional and personal/community life that is desired and usually afforded to clients who do not know me before working together. During the course of our professional relationship, it is likely that you as the client and myself as the practitioner will see each other, or bump into each other; perhaps at a party, workshop, festival, dance or other gathering. And so there is a need to be clear about ethical practice, boundaries and confidentiality in these circumstances.

Confidentiality:

  • All of the usual safeguards for confidentiality and secure record keeping will be strictly adhered to.
  • Every client will receive, as required, a statement about their rights to confidentiality, as well as identifying the few exceptions that may be required under the law.
  • What happens in the course of professional interactions, will not be shared with anyone else, without a signed release of information from you or in the unlikely instances as required in law or by court order.
  • I will not out anyone's interests, activities or even presence at events and gatherings to anyone.
  • If we meet in public, I will take my cue from how you acknowledge me, and/or what we have talked about and agreed upon. Otherwise, I may make eye contact, smile or nod, but not go beyond that. However, if you identify me to others by the way we work together, I will still not talk about what we have or are working on.

Friends and Acquaintances:

  • If we know each other as good friends, it is unlikely that I will take you on as a paying client. However, I would be happy to have a coffee, as friends and talk.
  • If we are casual acquaintances, but do not know each other well, it may be appropriate to work together as practitioner and client. We will need to discuss and agree the implications of working together before our professional engagement begins.
  • In the distance between good friends and casual acquaintances we would need to take time to discuss how a professional relationship may or may not work.
  • And I am happy to refer you to a suitable colleague if any overlap or complications can be foreseen

If you are considering working with me and want to clarify how that would look, please get in touch by email at sian@creativesexuality.co.uk