Article: Etiquette, Boundaries and Consent

Before booking please consider the following

Etiquette 

  • A free consultation of up to 20 minutes is available for the purpose of assessing whether we can effectively work together before booking an appointment.

  • The number of sessions required (if more than one) will be discussed and estimated as a part of the free initial consultation

  • Booking an appointment will always require an upfront non returnable deposit of £50 payable by bank transfer or Paypal.

  • Please arrive as close to your appointment time as possible for a smooth start and finish. Please contact me if you are running late. I will try to allow the full time if you do arrive late but some sessions may need to end on time.

  • Calls from no ID or international numbers cannot be answered, please contact me by email.

Boundaries and Consent

  • I am passionate about creating a safe place where not only are your boundaries respected but you are actively encouraged to learn more about and empowered to know and exercise your consent and your ‘yes’ and your ‘no’.

  • All serviced are offered as one-way touch only and as such are entirely focused on you and your experience.

  • Work together may include some foundational work around the Wheel of Consent, a tool developed by Dr Betty Martin aimed at empowering individuals and practitioners in understanding and practicing healthy boundaries and consent.

  • You, as the client are fully empowered to work within the level of touch with which you are comfortable and I recognise and honour that this may be different session by session and moment by moment.

Are you ready to explore?

Contact me

Article: What is a Certified Sexological Bodyworker?

By Alison Pilling

It might be easier to start with what we’re not. We’re not sex therapists, escorts, tantric masseurs or counsellors and we don’t offer those services as part of Sexological Bodywork. The difference between a ‘CSB’ and any of those is is worth explaining and its about the lack of ‘doing to you’ or ‘fixing you’. We believe you’re not broken, you’re having a natural life experience which can shift with the right support. 

While other professions may offer a specific experience, Sexological Bodywork works with you at your level, to explore what’s going on for you and we start there. The great gift of working with a Sexological Bodyworker is that the session is centred on you, what your needs are at the place you’re at. It’s essentially a place, free from judgement, for you to learn about yourself and connect to your body in safety. 

As the Sexological Bodyworker is always wearing clothes, there’s a clear boundary, which means it’s a time for you to focus on yourself without any of the common anxieties about pleasing or ‘giving’ to someone else. This means you can begin to relax and learn and build trust in yourself and your body. It’s all about you and what you need. A key element is that this is an opportunity to have a learning, educational experience, a teacher/student relationship rather than an entertainment service. 

Sexological Bodyworkers have a range of skills, tools and exercises to adapt to what’s important for you. They’ll ask you about what you want in your life and what are your issues that you want to explore in the greater context of your life. Some reasons why people see a Sexological Bodyworker might include the following, though there could be more

I was abused and want to go beyond that
I’ve lost my erotic desire, 
My partner’s closed down
I don’t feel anything during sex
I’ve got erectile dysfunction
I’m bored in my relationship
I’m feeling addicted to porn
I’ve got a fetish that’s getting in the way
I’m embarrassed about my body
Dating is difficult as I feel pressure to have sex when I don’t want to
I find it hard to talk about sex
I want to feel more confident in the bedroom

Unlike seeing other types of practitioner who ‘do things to you’ or try to fix you, seeing a Sexological Bodyworker gives you the insight, responsibility and power to make the changes you want in your life. If you want your life to be happier with more sexual understanding and confidence, it’s ultimately up to you and Sexological Bodywork can support you to turn around your personal Titanic. With kindness and a model of co-creating sessions with you, they’ll listen to you talk about what’s important for you, and offer options for learning. 

How do they work? 
They work with bringing curiosity rather than 'making something happen’ to you. In the session they’ll often ask you what you’re noticing and feeling in your body. Imagine someone supporting you and not trying to fix you, listening to you and using touch that is non goal oriented and for your benefit only. What that means is that the touch you receive is guided by you, for the purpose of your learning; to see what you’re noticing and feeling. It’s not with the purpose of making anything happen like arousal. It’s such a relief for those who connect anxiety with arousal and can finally relax into safety. It’s about you taking charge of what happens to your body. 

To finally have someone listen to us with unconditional positive regard touches something deep, a feeling of complete acceptance. And from that place we can make changes for ourselves, based on what we see and feel and learn about what we need.

Sexological Bodywork is a pioneering new field with fewer than a thousand practitioners, with a code of ethics and a professional body. We’ve seen amazing things happen with clients when they finally get the attention and support they’ve needed for so long. 

Learning for the first time that you matter and what you want matters is a powerful force for personal change.

ARTICLE: Professional Statement for people I already know

Providing bodywork to people in the conscious sexuality, kink, LGBTQI and tantra communities, when I am involved as I am, raises questions about professional boundaries. In these comparatively small communities it may not be possible to uphold the strict separation between professional and personal/community life that is desired and usually afforded to clients who do not know me before working together. During the course of our professional relationship, it is likely that you as the client and myself as the practitioner will see each other, or bump into each other; perhaps at a party, workshop, festival, dance or other gathering. And so there is a need to be clear about ethical practice, boundaries and confidentiality in these circumstances.

Confidentiality:

  • All of the usual safeguards for confidentiality and secure record keeping will be strictly adhered to.
  • Every client will receive, as required, a statement about their rights to confidentiality, as well as identifying the few exceptions that may be required under the law.
  • What happens in the course of professional interactions, will not be shared with anyone else, without a signed release of information from you or in the unlikely instances as required in law or by court order.
  • I will not out anyone's interests, activities or even presence at events and gatherings to anyone.
  • If we meet in public, I will take my cue from how you acknowledge me, and/or what we have talked about and agreed upon. Otherwise, I may make eye contact, smile or nod, but not go beyond that. However, if you identify me to others by the way we work together, I will still not talk about what we have or are working on.

Friends and Acquaintances:

  • If we know each other as good friends, it is unlikely that I will take you on as a paying client. However, I would be happy to have a coffee, as friends and talk.
  • If we are casual acquaintances, but do not know each other well, it may be appropriate to work together as practitioner and client. We will need to discuss and agree the implications of working together before our professional engagement begins.
  • In the distance between good friends and casual acquaintances we would need to take time to discuss how a professional relationship may or may not work.
  • And I am happy to refer you to a suitable colleague if any overlap or complications can be foreseen

If you are considering working with me and want to clarify how that would look, please get in touch by email at sian@creativesexuality.co.uk